Next in the series Real Conversations About Race was Raising Anti-Racist Children, a discussion targeted to parents and led by Mrs. Seals and featured speaker Diane Nichols. The session centered around the role of parents and our school in creating a truly anti-racist student body.
Raising Anti-Racist Children began with a conversation about children’s capacity for racial understanding. Nichols argues that the earlier parents teach their children about racism and connect them with diverse people, the more equipped they’ll be to practice tolerance in the future. Children are not color-blind, and “the people who become their normal are determinants of their racial awareness,” so we must ensure that they’re exposed to differences from a young age (Nichols).
Addressing differences with young children can be difficult, but Nichols challenges parents to respond to all questions, even those that pertain to complicated issues. A disconnect often exists when schools aren’t willing to explain certain uncomfortable realities students regularly encounter, so parents disadvantage their children even more when they don’t engage in open dialogue at home. Facilitating this kind of communication at AIS will require more effort on the part of our administrators and teachers. The more that faculty members shift their own biases and the more our curriculum represents and affirms all identities, the easier students will find it to confide their concerns, questions, and experiences.
It is the school’s responsibility to prepare students to navigate diverse environments, and respect—even it isn’t accompanied by agreement or understanding—is key. AIS needs to invite productive debate that isn’t built on attacking or discounting dissenting opinions, and we as a community must try to see the intents behind students’ racist demonstrations. Once we know the reasons for ignorant or insensitive behavior, we can begin to unteach the student’s racist ideology and help her grow.
In response to Mrs. Seals’ question about what it means to be allied with other parents, Nichols explained that the starting point for parents is to look at the way they’ve been socialized around other identities and the social messages they’ve received around other identities. Many of these messages continue to influence parents’ thinking and prevent them from seeing beyond their narrow idea of the world; parents must become aware of what’s happening outside their bubble while still recognizing that nobody’s an expert. Even if you’re a POC, Nichols says, you can still do work to educate yourself and improve your racial literacy.
A problem some student activists are experiencing is the temptation to abandon the cause shortly after becoming involved, which is why self-care is so important. High schoolers might love the protest but show disinterest in the next steps, so parents must encourage their children to take frequent breaks and recharge before reentering the fight.
Parents’ other duties are to delineate the possible consequences of protesting and to equip students to respectfully speak out against racism. A lot of activism is sacrifice, and many will stand alone at first, but once you learn to accept this fact and continue doing what you’re passionate about anyway, you might look around to find others are joining you. Nichols observes that we are an individualistic society, and therefore students must learn to make decisions for their own reasons and with little regard for others’ opinions.
When giving students the tools to call out racist behavior in public settings, parents should provide them with several options to maturely handle the situation. Each time a student raises an issue, Nichols advises parents to introduce ways to effectively support it, like making phone calls and starting petitions, and let the student know that her voice is important. Silencing children who express confusion or anger in ways deemed socially unacceptable is never the answer; instead, encourage curiosity and welcome each question as an opportunity to teach your child something new.
This school year, it’s obvious that faculty and parents must receive new and more rigorous equity and inclusion training, and Nichols hopes this will be conducted in a parallel manner. AIS should organize book-readings or other sessions on anti-racism that faculty and staff can attend together, for the more shared learning experiences they participate in, the more collective progress they’ll make.
As Nichols reflects on the current social and political climate of this country, she remarks that she is optimistic because white people, especially those of our younger generation, are finally starting to listen to stories of marginalized groups and acknowledge white privilege. Finally, even adults are challenging themselves to continue their racial education and realizing that, as Nichols states, “We are a system built on structures of oppression, since the beginning of time; there is no room for complacency.”
