The following text is a transcript from Thera P.’s speech at our last assembly:
Good morning everyone. I am so honored that I have the opportunity to speak with you all today. To start things off, I want to ask you some questions. Raise your hands if this applies to you. Have any of you ever felt anxious? Like you couldn’t keep up with your schoolwork? Like you’re tired all the time?
Perfect. You can put your hands down now. It looks like a lot of us feel this way. Stress is completely normal, but there are ways to mitigate its effects over your life. This is what we at the organization are here for. Our objective is to help people like you, teenagers like you, to navigate their social and emotional lives in addition to their constant workloads. Today I will provide you with some strategies to help you overcome these negative thoughts and feelings the next time they arise.
First of all, if you are feeling stressed about the piles of assignments you are receiving, don’t be. Stress has so many negative health effects, and there are simple solutions to these problems. Firstly, for those of you taking Physics, a commonly stressful class, I want you to take a ball, examine it, and drop it. That should tell you everything you need to know about gravity. If you’re struggling with trigonometry, I encourage you to look at more triangles. If you don’t know enough history, just ask your parents. Use the resources around you; they’re there for a reason.
Next, if you’re still feeling like an utter failure, I encourage you to instead turn to social media for validation, especially Tik Tok while it’s still legal. Every “like” you receive is from someone who believes in you, and every negative comment only helps boost your media through the algorithm. Furthermore, every time you comment on or like someone else’s post, you are uplifting them as well. Do good for your community!
Lastly, I know many of you, upperclassmen in particular, are hearing messages from the people around you that are causing stress: messages about college visits, SAT scores, studying for that math test, and whatnot. Instead of seeking advice from your peers and adults in your life as usual, try seeking advice from another audience: small children. Just as people who have been single their whole lives give the best relationship advice, people who have never once heard of the Desmos graphing calculator will provide a completely different perspective on your situation. Visit the Lower School during your free periods. Experience the nostalgia of a simple life, join naptime to catch up on the sleep you missed while studying, and say “hi” to that PAL of yours who hasn’t seen you in several weeks and is dying to catch a glimpse of you.
Alright, that’s all I have prepared for today, so do any of you have any questions? No? Okay. Thank you for having me, everyone! Your teachers will be handing out bracelets with our logo on them on your way out. If you have any questions or want to sign up for our program, simply call the number on the bracelet. That’s all from me, folks. Have a great rest of your day.
