The Wick Is Cooked

The Wick Is Cooked

Dark times have befallen the Agnes Irwin School. Beloved local newspaper, the Wick, has been confirmed guilty of spreading disinformation and plagiarizing articles from The Haverford School. No source of media can be trusted in today’s world.

A few student sleuths first noticed inconsistencies in The Wick’s January issue, and later found an article covering students’ return to school following winter break contained photoshopped images. These visuals depicted a few girls happily racing to class, grinning widely. However, contradictory testimonies from those photographed, as well as a small adobe watermark in the left hand corner, raised suspicions among a particular group of students. After obtaining the original image through an inside source, they discovered that the girls’ pearly smiles had been edited on. In fact, these fake grins were plastered over sleep-deprived eyes and scowls.

This initial discovery prompted a mass investigation among student detectives. Images from all the way back to the 1980s were proven to be doctored. This scandal is not a modern development, but rather a decades-long conspiracy. A newspaper that markets itself as the voice of the student body, and a vehicle for truth, should accurately depict the student body. The century-long scandal has sparked mass outrage among the AIS community, some demanding that the publication be dissolved.

That sentiment has only grown in popularity following The Wick’s second major scandal. Once word of the photoshop fiasco inevitably reached other Main Line schools, a few Haverford journalists were emboldened to share their own experiences with the publication, and its theft of their work. One student reported, “It was crazy. My sister brought home a copy, and my article covering the Haverford musical was right on the front cover! There was no mention of my name, and it was signed off by one of their journalists!”

Ultimately, The Wick must be stopped. Its corruption will only continue to fester if left unchecked. Thus, the Wack is calling for a boycott of the publication on April 1st. The Agnes Irwin student body will not stand for this.

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